Change!

I'm spending most of today on the living room sofa. This sinus infection has gotten me down, literally. So I pulled out a book, 90 Minutes in Heaven, that I started reading a year ago and never finished. I'm not sure why I never finished it but I'm glad I picked it up again today.
He talks about his horrific accident, his 90 minutes in heaven, his 1-2 year physical recovery process, and also his emotional and spiritual recovery process. It's a good book to read if you've gone through tragedy and are having to rethink your life. Even if you haven't gone through any kind of tragedy it's a good book to read in encouraging you to rethink some areas of your life.
Today I read about about him realizing that he was having to grieve the past and what used to be. This really spoke to me.
In the past few years I've had to grieve what used to be. I'm, again, having to accept my life for what it is. I need to go through this process every once in awhile.
Something struck me today as I was reading... "We tend to forget the negative and go back to recapture pleasant events. The reality is, we have selectively remembered - and just as selectively forgotten."... "The sooner I make peace with the fact that things will never be the same again and accept the way things are, the sooner I will be able to live in peace and enjoy my new normalcy."
For what seems like a long time, I've had to work through this process of having to accept my new normal. This is a challenge for someone who doesn't like change! I would rather have my life evolve slowly so that I don't realize that change is happening. :)
How do I accept all this? I've learned that it's a choice. I've made that choice multiple times! And I will have to do it many more times in my life.
You know, honestly, I had to make that choice multiple times... even before the accident almost 4 years ago. The choice came when I was a teenager, during my dating years, the loss of my grandparents, the change of being in missions and being in the midst of a culture that was completely foreign to me, then getting married, moving to Ft. Wayne, becoming a mom 3 times over, homeschooling, job changes for John, moving to South Bend after being comfortable in Ft. Wayne, then becoming a widow, being the mom of a paraplegic, marrying again, being a stepmom, the changes continue to come and they always will. That's just the way life is. Change, change, change!
In the midst of our lives there will always be change, minor and major changes. It's a matter of how we respond to those changes that will affect how we live our lives. How we respond will also affect those around us. How do you respond to the changes in your life?
Where is God in the midst of all the change? Hmm, where is He? Does he seem distant or is he closer to you than you ever imagined? I'd like to think that God is close to me. Ok, so I know that he is close, but do I feel his presence when change is happening?
Who is God to you when change is happening in your life? Is he someone you cling to or push away? Is he someone you blame for the change ... good or bad? Who is He to you???