Growing Strong Roots - Feel

The young adult retreat that my husband and I led this year was life transforming for many that attended. Our focus for this year was the parable of the Four Soils. We taught on each one – dug into it, picked it apart and talked about how to apply it to our lives. I taught about the soil that doesn’t last because of not having strong roots. How do we grow spiritual roots that are strong enough so that we can stand when the troubles of life hit us and want to knock us down?

Mt 13:20-21

The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away.

God says that there will be persecution. He doesn’t say “if”, he says “when”. In other cultures it looks like prison, being physically beaten,  killed, etc. It’s quite severe compared to what most of us experience here in the United States. For us it looks more like being rejected by our friends or family. They don’t want to hangout with us because of our relationship with Jesus. We may be mocked, bullied or talked about you behind our back. It can be painful.

Don’t be surprised when people misunderstand, criticize or even try to hurt (mentally, emotionally, physically) you because of what you believe and how you live. Don’t give up. God is the only one you need to please. He is the only one you need to answer to.

God also promises that we will face trouble in this life. It’s not the same for everyone. I’ve experienced enough trouble in my life to satisfy me for a lifetime. Life is hard. For some people it’s harder than others.

Almost 14 years ago when my family and I were in a head-on collision while going 65mph my life changed forever. My husband died which means that I instantly became a single mom to three children. One became a paraplegic because of a spinal cord injury. Life got full of trouble in a split second. I had no warning. I was blindsided by tragedy and trauma.

How was I able to stand while going through all of this? I was able to stand because of my spiritual root system being strong. I was blessed with an amazing support system of family and friends that helped hold me up and survive.

I have to say that it was in large part it was because of choices that I had made through previous years that helped me to have a root system that was strong enough to help me not fall over and die.

Some of the choices in my life that help my roots to get even stronger:

·      I changed friends – when I got serious about my relationship with Jesus I needed to find new friends who loved Jesus too.

·      I stopped drinking alcohol completely – almost 20 years ago God told me to stop drinking alcohol completely. This helped my relationship with Jesus grow like nothing else.

·      Went to retreats and conferences – spending time with friends over a weekend or a few days who were pursuing God in the same way was encouraging.

·      Chose to fast – there is nothing like fasting and sacrificing a desire in order to pursue and connect with all that God has for me.

·      Spent one-on-one time with Jesus – oh how this changes a person!

·      Pursued heart healing – I am not the same person I was 20 years ago because of this. The truth of Jesus is life-changing!

·      Spent time in solitude and silence – time away from the busyness of life is refreshing and a great time of reconnecting with Jesus.

·      Learned to listen to God’s voice and chose obedience – Nothing changes a person like this does. You want strong roots? Do this!

What do we do to strengthen your spiritual root system?

There are 3 significant things that we can do to grow our root system.

The three rules of the dysfunctional family are: don’t feel, don’t talk and don’t trust. All of these stunt our growth in every way.

I’m going to go through each of these but today I will only talk about “don’t feel”.

We need to allow ourselves to feel our emotions. Going numb or silent is not the answer.

We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive ones. – Brene Brown

We tend to jump into being busy and simply choose to shut down our feelings because it’s too painful. Quite frankly, who wants to feel pain when we can avoid it? But is it really gone when we don’t feel it? It’s still there. Pushing it down doesn’t make it go away. Numbing our sadness, depression, grief, and anger may make us “feel better” but reality is that we are also numbing the gratitude and happiness that we could be feeling. Avoiding the pain also means that we avoid the joy that can come with facing it head-on.

God created feelings. God has feelings just like we do.

John 11:33-36 

Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

Jesus’ friend died and his sister’s were sad and grieving. Jesus grieved and wept with them. He felt what they felt.

Psalm 86:15 

But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Compassion, (righteous) anger and love. God feels them all.

He feels pain just like we do. If he created feelings then we should be open to them, right? God never creates anything that is bad. He creates all that is good. It’s just a matter of how we handle what he gives us.

Our feelings are real. It’s good to feel them. Yesterday I took a day of letting myself feel the pain that I’ve been working through. It was hard but I know that pushing through and getting to where I am today is worth it. I spent some one-on-one time with Jesus and listened to Him at 5:00 this morning and he spoke healing truth to me. I keep attending to those roots.

Pursuing strong spiritual roots means being diligent. It means making choices that most people wouldn’t normally make. It may mean sacrifice. It may mean doing the hard stuff.

Are you willing to feel things that you’ve pushed down for days, weeks or even years?

Be Strong and Courageous

The past few weeks I’ve been leading a bible study with a group of beautiful young ladies. We talked about several different people in the bible who exemplified bravery and courage. As we went through this study it became clear to me that we all need to live a life of courage.

Joshua 1:9 says “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

This is one of my favorite verses in all of the bible. It has encouraged me through some pretty low times in my lifetime so far.

In this chapter, Moses has died and Joshua is installed as the new leader. In verse 5 the Lord encouraged Joshua through this transition by telling him that He would be with him and not leave him or forsake him. In verse 7 the Lord tells Joshua to be strong and courageous and to obey the law so that he may be successful. As a result of the Lord encouraging and reminding Joshua through the leadership transition, he was able to lead with strength, big courage and with great success and respect from his followers.

We studied and talked about David and how he killed the giant. David had the confidence and courage to do this because he had previously killed a lion and then a bear. What?! Who does that? He trusted that God would help him because he’s done it before. What he had accomplished in the past helped him to have enough courage to face and defeat the giant. He chose to do what was in front of him even when he didn’t know the end of the story. That’s courage.

Mary Magdeline was known to be a true worshipper of Jesus. She knew what it was like to sit at his feet and honor Him in the way he deserved. One time she even poured a very expensive bottle of perfume over Jesus’ head and feet as a way of showing love and honor. This seems odd to us but Jesus considered it to be a beautiful thing even though others around her thought it was ridiculous. She did the right thing even when it looked weird. She wasn’t concerned what others thought of her. Courage is doing the right thing even when others think it’s odd.

There was also Gideon who as a young boy was threshing wheat in hiding. An angel of the Lord showed up and told him that he was a “mighty warrior”. Gideon wasn’t convinced and had a conversation with God about who he was. Eventually Gideon believed that he was who God said he was. Gideon then goes on to defeat the Midianites and the kings who were leading them. We need to believe that we are who God says we are so that we can be courageous enough to do what God calls us to do.

We also talked about Benaiah, a mighty warrior, who clearly fought many battles and won. We learned that this man was in charge of David’s 30 guards, his father was a priest, he killed a lion in a snowy pit, he somehow killed an Egyptian giant with the giant’s own spear and he became King Solomon’s general. No one accomplishes all this without being disciplined in training. Benaiah obviously spent some time training with his weapons and was skilled in leadership. None of this happens without living a life of discipline. We need to be disciplined in our walk with Jesus in order to be courageous in the tough situations life hands us.

And then there is Jesus who was the very best example of what courage looks like. He endured so much for us when he gave his life for us. He knew what he was going to go through before he even started. He knew the level of pain he was going to go through … but he still did it. For you and me! 

He also knew what the end of the story looked like.

He understood the purpose of the pain and sacrifice.

He understood why he was doing it.

He understood that it would be worth it.

He saw the big picture.

Hebrews 12:1-3

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Our focus needs to be on Jesus. Just like a person who walks the tightrope needs to focus on what’s in front of him, we need to focus on Jesus.

Just yesterday afternoon all that I had taught was put to the test…

My daughter was asked by some friends to play travel volleyball this winter. This mom thoroughly enjoys watching her children play in whatever sport her kids play in. I liked the idea of sitting through more volleyball games. It was very appealing to me to get her signed up and move forward with this. Even while I really wanted to sign her up, I kept having a check in my spirit about it all. I couldn’t bring myself to commit to it. I had some concerns. I prayed about it. I kept hearing God say “no” when I asked him about it. I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t like his answer. I just knew that it was what he was saying. Long story short, I had a conversation with my daughter about what I had just taught the young ladies and what it meant to do the right thing even when it didn’t make sense. After discussing this, we agreed that she wouldn’t play this year. She was good with it and so was I. It was freeing to do the right thing even when we didn’t understand it all. She was going to have to go to her friends and tell them that she wasn’t playing without a clear explanation but we know that it’s the courageous thing to do.

It’s sometimes good to not know the full story.

It can be to our benefit to not know the ending.

It’s ok to look weird to others when God is in it.

It’s so great to know who God says we are.

It’s beneficial to be disciplined.

It’s helpful to trust God without knowing all the answers.

It is in our best interest to be obedient to Him in everything.

On Being An Introvert

I've always been an introvert. 

It's simply the way God created me. 

It's not something that I've always liked about me. 

It's something that I've come to appreciate about myself.

I've been misunderstood many times because of being an introvert. I've been called rude, arrogant and shy. I used to describe myself as a shy person. I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm not a shy person. I do talk to people that I don't know, just not always when others think I should.

I've never described myself as rude or arrogant. I think I'm anything but that. As an introvert, if I don't feel comfortable talking to someone I simply won't at times, although sometimes I do. I certainly don't think I'm better than anyone else.

For the past few years I've been working through the reality of being an introvert and what it's like to be one. I'm surrounded by extroverts who don't understand me at times. I've come to a point of accepting how God created me ... an introvert ... sometimes an "extreme introvert". I actually like this part of me now. It feels good. I don't feel like I have to be someone I'm not. I don't need to please anyone else anymore. This is who I am and I'm ok with that. I'm comfortable in my own skin.

I don't mind being alone ... for hours, even days. Extroverts think I'm weird but I actually prefer solitude many times. It's completely draining for me to be with a lot of people for long periods of time. 

I'm very comfortable with only a few close friends in my life. I don't need a lot of friends or people around me to make me happy.

I enjoy deep conversations. Rambling and small talk can be annoying at times. What's the point? I like conversations that are meaningful, even life-changing. More than anything, I enjoy God-conversations!

I don't talk much. If I don't have anything important to say, why say anything?

I'm said to be a good listener. You need someone to listen to you without needing anything to be fixed or changed? I'm willing to let you get it off of your mind. 

I am a thinker. Most of the time I think before I speak. If I'm not talking, I'm thinking and processing something important to me. 

I value quality time with my husband and children, my family and my close friends. 

Want to learn more on introverts? ... click here