Celebrating 10 Years of Rocks, Crevices and Bumps

So we celebrated 10 years of marriage over the past week. Our time together was a lot of fun!

We hiked into the Grand Canyon.

We hiked a trail on the way to Sedona called West Fork Trail. We ate an amazing pizza.

We went on a jeep tour up the mountain.

We did some horseback riding while Clint was able to talk to our cowboy about God.

We did some shopping.

We ate a lot of Mexican food.

We rode an ATV through the hills and valleys of Sedona.

We spent time just being together and reminiscing about the last 10 years.

We watched videos on marriage.

Over the past week I’ve been aware of the parallels of the trip and our marriage since 2005. It’s been an adventure that in some ways is indescribable.

On our last day in Sedona we spent 4 hours on an ATV riding through terrain like I’ve never seen before. As we were riding God started talking to me about how the ride was so much like our marriage. So many times He talks to me through visuals and nature. I’m a visual person who enjoys nature so it makes sense to me that God would use the two to speak to me and show me things that are truth.

These pictures don't do the real thing justice.
Can you see the trail in the distance?

The land was not smooth in any way. There were rocks, crevices and bumps everywhere. There were very few times when we were going straight. Some of the rocks were small and some were so big that it seemed that they shouldn’t have been there. At times the crevices and bumps were so big it slowed us down. The trail wasn’t straight. It curved everywhere. Even the times when it seemed to be straight, there was a slight curve in it.

Diamondback Gulch (I didn't get my own photos of the gulch so I borrowed from Google) 

Our directions took us to the Diamondback Gulch. Oh my goodness, God spoke to me there. It was actually a bit scary going down to the bottom and then having to go up. It was extremely rocky, rough and steep! It wasn’t the prettiest sight but it was really amazing to see. There were boulders everywhere, surrounded by cactus and bushes with thistles. It was very dry but still had life.

Clint was the one driving while I was the one navigating with the directions we were given by the owners of the ATV we were using. It was not an easy task to drive with all the obstacles in our path. It wasn’t always easy to navigate, even with the directions we were given. There were times when we questioned whether we were going the right way so we had to stop and look at the directions and the trail closer to be sure we were going the right way.

So since we’ve taken the ride through the trails of Sedona, literally in the middle of nowhere, God and I have been processing this together. I went to bed thinking about it and woke up with it still on my mind. It’s been clear to me that all that Clint and I have been through in the past 10 years of marriage has been so much like the ATV ride through the trail in the middle of nowhere.

The cactus plants everywhere were starting to bloom. 

We started off with having all of our children who were deep in grief and trying to figure out how to get through the loss of what was before. As parents we had to help them navigate through their grief and ours at the same time. My kids and I went to a children and family grief center for 2 years on a weekly basis. This was a vital part in our grieving process.

On top of ourselves and our kids grieving, we also had extended family that was still grieving the loss of what isn’t there anymore. Some of it was directed at us in hurtful ways. We now know that it was not intentional; it’s just the way grief works.

Trying to come together as a family was a challenge for years. We didn’t know how to be a stepfamily. Clint and I went to stepfamily conferences (at least 3 times) to help us learn how to be stepparents. It doesn’t come naturally to most people. It’s not easy to know how to parent children that you didn’t raise from the beginning.

On top of all that we decided that it was time for Clint to quit his job in the corporate world and go into full time ministry. This added more challenge to our lives.

On paper these things look like they shouldn’t be that hard. When it’s a reality, it’s a life full of bumps, bruises and cuts that leave scars. Things are done and said that hurt. There have been so many obstacles that I can’t begin to go there. Each rock, crevice and turn on the trail had an incident attached to it. It’s amazing to me how the ups and downs were so significant to me. There were many of them.

Being in the gulch was huge. We’ve have times in our marriage when I wasn’t sure that we were going to make it. There were times when I wanted out because of feeling so hopeless. I didn’t want to keep going. I didn’t want to hang on for dear life anymore. It hurt too much. When I was on the ATV I had to hang on for dear life or I was going to be left behind. Clint was tired from having to steer. We had to take a few breaks to rest. In life we’ve taken time to get away from everything and focus on each other. In order to survive and become healthy, we’ve had to take breaks from life at home.  

Hiking Doe Mountain

We have gone to marriage conferences more times than I wanted to. Learning how to love and respect each other has kept us married. Honestly, we have gone to the same marriage conference 5 times (along with others). Five. Hearing the same speakers say the same thing  5 times was helpful. Each time we went we learned something new. The new thing we learned was what we needed in that season of our lives. Other information we needed to be reminded of.

At the end of our last day in Sedona, we decided to hike Doe Mountain. It was a hike that we did not expect at all. The trail took us up the side of the mountain, zigzagging back and forth while stepping on and over rocks and boulders. There were times when we thought it was the end of the trail and we almost quit. As we looked past the landing we noticed that the trail kept going. In the end it took us to the very top of the mountain. It was incredible! We were so excited to be on the top. The reward of reaching our goal was worth it.

On top of Doe Mountain. The view was breathtaking!

Practicing determination, persistence and diligence when it comes to your relationship with your spouse is worth it. God has rewarded us for being people of loyalty and faithfulness. I wouldn’t want to do life with anyone else. Clint has led us through this adventure with integrity and strength that demands respect. I wouldn’t want anyone else to lead our family. We’ve had times of being exhausted from all the determination that it’s taken. It’s been at those times that God provided rest for us. (We needed to be away this past week) God has been faithful in giving us direction. He has directed every step, turn and decision. We would not be married today without His help and truth in our lives.