Trust and Surrender

A few days ago I was going on a quick 14 mile bike ride to spend some time with God. I didn’t have a lot of time but I was craving this time with Him. Being on the bike is a way I like to have some of my conversations with Him and I really needed to spend some time with him at that time. I needed to release some pent up energy and release some things on my heart with God.

I was only 1.5 miles into the ride when I came up on a car pulled over off of the road. I thought it was a little strange but as I got closer I noticed a truck pulled off on a side road with two grown men in a very heated argument. One guy was attempting to chest bump the other and words were being exchanged.

Some thoughts that went through my mind were:

“Really?! Two grown men, fighting?”

“They look like little school boys having a fight on the playground”

“They should be ashamed of themselves”

“It’s a good thing their kids can’t see them right now”

“I would be embarrassed if my husband would do that”

“They need to grow up”

I wanted to let them know how ridiculous they were and looked but figured it was best for me to not get involved. As I rode past and moved on from the negative thoughts, I prayed for them and said, “God somehow use that situation to glorify you”. Even as I was praying this little prayer I thought it was a little silly. Little did I know that He was using that scene to speak to me. Funny how God works sometimes.

I kept going and listening to what He had to say to me about what I had just witnessed and thought was ridiculous.

Why do I keep fighting with God? Why do I continue to push back? Why do I not trust Him all the time? Why do I question his decisions for me?

Do I not always believe that the Creator of the Universe is trustworthy? I always believe that he’s trustworthy. It’s not always easy to act out on my belief. My flesh can get in the way.

When life gets rough or it’s not comfortable, which is much of the time, I want to question God. How in the world can this be what’s best for me? Really God? Pushing back or disagreeing with Him seems to make sense for some reason. 

So as I kept riding and listening and talking with God, I realized that when I fight against Him, disagree with what he’s doing in my life or I push back; I look like the two grown men fighting beside the road. How silly I must look to Him. 

It all comes down to trust and surrender. When I don’t surrender it all to the One who really is in control, I’m not trusting that he knows what’s best for me. I’m not trusting the One who loves me and will always be faithful in caring for me. To not trust Him is not wise. It’s all a choice. I need to choose to trust him enough to be able to surrender it ALL to him. To only surrender a part of it isn’t wise. Hanging onto bits and pieces of it can still be taxing on me. It can be stressful and tiring. When I give it ALL to Him it’s freeing and brings a peace that’s unmistakable.

So, again, I needed to surrender it all to the God of the Universe. I trust Him to take care of it. I trust that he knows what’s best for me and loves me despite my insecurities and failures. My prayer is that He will be glorified in it all. Surrender is something that isn’t a once in a lifetime thing. It’s something that I need to do daily, weekly, minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour … all the time! Because I can be a person who likes to be in control at times, I tend to take it out of God’s hands and attempt to handle it myself. Sometimes I get impatient with God and try to get it done faster. That’s when it gets messed up and then I need to give it back to him so that he can fix my mess up. 

Sometimes I simply make the choice to not trust Him or even forget to trust Him in the situation.

I’m so grateful that I have a God who knows how to take care of my mess ups.

I’m grateful that he knows what’s best for me and my kids.

I’m grateful that he knows what’s best for my marriage.

I’m grateful that God can handle it ALL and do it with grace and dignity and in the end be glorified like he deserves.

I'm grateful for how patient He is with me. He never leaves me, he patiently waits for me to come around and surrender again. 

I'm so very grateful for a God who is faithful and never failing! 

*****************

Erica, Kat and Dr. Morningstar

Here are a few photos from JM's last day at Scoliosis Bootcamp last week. He was so happy to be done but I have to admit that I will miss seeing these wonderful friends. I wish we lived closer to the office so he could go there weekly. I'm so grateful that God put this opportunity in front of us and gave Dr. Morningstar the knowledge and wisdom to help JM and so many others with scoliosis. What a gift these three are! 

JM and his friend Alli. Alli went through the bootcamp the
same two weeks we were there. We had so much fun
with her and her mom. We're so thankful they were there
at the same time we were! 

Signing the board.
"I survived Scoliosis Bootcamp 2014"