ScoliSmart Bootcamp. It’s what’s new in our lives this week.
JM’s curve progressed to 82 degrees. Woah! I sure didn’t expect to hear that kind of number. Where do we go from here? Dr. Morningstar processed it with us and long story short, we are going ahead with the 2 weeks of bootcamp. At this point we are focusing on the correct functioning of his heart and lungs more than cosmetic appearance. At this point, his heart and lungs are not affected and we want to keep it that way.
JM’s curve progressed to 82 degrees. Woah! I sure didn’t expect to hear that kind of number. Where do we go from here? Dr. Morningstar processed it with us and long story short, we are going ahead with the 2 weeks of bootcamp. At this point we are focusing on the correct functioning of his heart and lungs more than cosmetic appearance. At this point, his heart and lungs are not affected and we want to keep it that way.
Yesterday was an emotional day in many ways for me.
Realizing that going through what is much like rehab/therapy brought back much
of what we went through 10 years ago while going through rehab at Methodist
Hospital in Indianapolis. It was a tough 8 weeks of rehab back then.
Although there are similarities here, it’s different in so
many ways…
- Our emotional trauma isn’t with us anymore. God has done an incredible amount of healing in our hearts and minds. Huge!
- We’re not grieving intensely like we were almost 10 years ago. (Friday is the 10 year anniversary of the instant our lives were changed)
- Our physical bodies aren’t broken like they were back then. I’m walking painfree and John Michael is independent and confident in who he is.
- I don’t feel like I need to be by JM’s side all the time. I don’t need to be his stability; emotionally, physically and mentally.
It feels very different this time. It’s healing for me.
What is God doing in all this? He’s doing some healing in
me. I’m seeing the reality of how far JM and I have come since 10 years ago.
It’s good.
I’ve been reading the book The Circle Maker by Mark
Batterson this week. Excellent book. It’s so timely for me right now. I’m
learning that it’s ok to be bold in my conversations with God. He doesn’t want
me to be timid or unsure of my prayers. He wants me to be confident in what I’m
asking of him.
For those of you who have read the book, you will understand
what I’m saying. Others, take this as a challenge to read this amazing book. J
My circle prayer right now is that God will heal JM’s
scoliosis. I believe with my whole heart that He can do this! I will continue
to pray for this until he does this. How long will this take? Oh I don’t know …
maybe days, weeks, months or even years. It will take however long God chooses
it to take. I can continue to pray for healing but His answer is up to him. How
He chooses to do this is also up to him. He may choose to start the healing
process with this bootcamp and keep healing him through the daily exercises at
home or some other way. I don’t always understand His ways… how, why or when. I
just know that I will trust the God of the universe in this. I may look or
sound like a fool to others... I’m ok with that.
We should praise God for disappointment because it drives us to our knees. Disappointment is like dream defibrillation. If we respond to it the right way, disappointment can actually restore our prayer rhythm and resurrect our dreams.
- Mark Batterson
I never felt like I was supposed to pray for healing of JM’s
spinal cord. I don’t fully know why. What I do know is that I have always known
that I need to pray for Jesus’ healing truth to penetrate his heart. God cares
more for my son’s heart and mind much more than whether he can walk or not. I’m
convinced that He wants to use him because of the spinal cord injury. I’ve seen
it happen. I’ve heard it happen. God is using my son in ways that I will never
know. I love how God is using his spinal cord injury!
Why do I feel the need to pray for healing of scoliosis? Not
exactly sure. All I know is that I’m called to do this. It feels different for
me to pray like this but I’m ok with it. I do know that when the curvature of
the spine reaches a certain point it will limit the function of the heart and
lungs. I don’t want this for JM and I don’t believe God does either. Can he
stop it? Yes. Why hasn’t He stopped it so far? I don’t know. I do know that God
did bring us here to see Dr. Morningstar and his team to begin the healing process.
Nothing honors God more than a big dream that is way beyond our ability to accomplish. Why? Because there is no way we can take credit for it. And nothing is better for our spiritual development than a big dream because it keeps us on our knees in raw dependence on God. Drawing prayer circles around our dreams isn't just a mechanism where we accomplish great things for God; it's a mechanism whereby God accomplishes great things in us.
- Mark Batterson
God is up to something. I’m All In for what he’s doing with
my son, His child. He wants what’s best for JM, even more than I do.
I want to see more miracles happen …
1 comment:
I am weeping as I read. The journey isn't over yet but God has proven faithful and He will continue to guide the path! Love You!!
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