Chicago

Yesterday was an interesting day... My sister and a friend came home from Florida for my 40th birthday party in Chicago. 7 of us had a girls day in the windy city. We started off the day with blueberry pancakes for breakfast, made by my talented husband. We took off for Chicago around 9:30, had time for some window shopping, a delicious lunch at The Cheesecake Factory, some more window shopping, then to IKEA for some real shopping. At the end of the day we stopped by Hacienda for a quick dinner.

Is it possible to go to The Cheesecake Factory without trying the cheesecake? I don't think so!

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While we were in Chicago Betsy, John's mom, died from complications of heart valve replacement surgery. The decision was made to pull the breathing tube that had been in her body for several days. Soon after it was pulled, she sat up and had a 2 hour conversation with her daughter and son-in-law! What a blessing! This is just another example of the wonderful grace and mercy of God. She got tired and fell asleep and died in her sleep. I remember her telling me at some point that this is what she would want... to die peacefully.

It's so bittersweet. All we wanted for her was to be healthy. She had been sick for so long and we really wanted and prayed for her to be healthy. It got to the point where we knew that it wasn't going to happen here on this earth. This brought us to the point of being ok with her dying and being perfectly healthy in heaven. Sometimes our prayers are answered differently then we think it should be answered. God chose to heal her in heaven instead of on this earth like we selfishly would want.

It was really hard for me to enjoy my time in Chicago with my girlfriends after finding out about Betsy's death. I felt like I was going through the motions ... wanting to cry and let it all out ... not wanting to do it in public ... not sure what I was feeling ... just wanting to be with my husband, my best friend.

I feel like a part of my life is literally dying away. Within alittle over 4 years John, PopPop and Grandmom leave my life here on earth. I miss them! I'm not understanding what God is doing.

Clint and I told the kids about Grandmom's (Betsy) death last night after I got home. It was interesting to see how each one responded to the news. Michael and Anna cried; John Michael and Ben acted like it wasn't a big deal and acted alittle silly; Bekah was somewhere in between, not sure how to respond. She came to me later and cried. John Michael just wanted to watch the Phillies play... this is what Daddy John, PopPop and Grandmom would want to do. We all went downstairs to watch some of the Phillies game. While watching the game, Ben started making a pop-up card for Grandmom. The pop-up was the word "heaven". This morning we were driving on the by-pass. John Michael asked me where the accident was. I showed him and he became quiet. So, we both said that we were sad that Daddy John, PopPop and Grandmom died and held hands without words. That helped him to be ok again...until the next time.

It's interesting to see how each child responds and works through it differently. It's hard to believe how much our kids have experienced death in their short lives. It is our job as parents to guide them through each of their grieving processes. This means that we need to be aware of how each one grieves and works through what they are feeling and expresses him/herself. We have learned to ask them questions and to encourage talking about the person who died. Sharing memories is vital to healing! We did some of that last night ... we laughed and cried.

Some memories ...

We took Grandmom to an amusement park in Pittsburgh this summer. She insisted on having one of these ice cream cones. She was looking forward to this before we even got to the park! :) John Michael and Grandmom enjoyed their ice cream cones.

We each wrote a note to PopPop on our balloons before releasing them. Grandmom took especially long in writing hers. It was so great to see her take her time to write her special note.