SelfISHness and SelfLESSness

I’m in Cancun area at an amazing resort with a friend this week. She invited me to join her on a week of intentional relaxing. The only thing on our agenda this week is to relax.

Today we spent time working out, at the beach, then made our way to the pool. Yesterday we walked through a pool area that has a spa-like atmosphere to it so we decided to go there this afternoon. When we got there it was happy hour and had become a party-like atmosphere, which was a little disappointing but we stayed anyway.

While we were in the pool a man came by and struck up a conversation with us. We made small conversation then I asked him if he was here by himself or if he was with someone. I wanted to know what his intentions were in starting a conversation with us ladies in the pool. He said that he was there with his wife but that she wasn’t feeling well. She was sleeping on a bed by the pool.

As we talked, he shared that she was fighting cancer for the third time and this time it wasn’t curable. It’s treatable but not curable. My heart broke for this man. His wife wanted to go on a get-away with her husband before she started another round of chemo treatments. His words were, “it’s now or never”.

A few minutes later I saw him waking his wife with a kiss. It was just like a prince waking his sleeping beauty. Being able to witness that precious moment was priceless.

As I’m sitting by the pool, on one side I have a couple who is simply trying to soak up every moment they have together. They value each second, each minute, each breath that they have.

On the other side I have a group of young people hanging out by the bar, drinking too much alcohol while saying and doing things that I know they wouldn’t say or do without the alcohol in their bodies. They were completely unaware of their surroundings. It was all about them in the moment.

Having two different worlds happening around me brought a heaviness to my heart. Where is the balance in all that?

Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” It’s not easy to find a balance in that when rejoicing and mourning is happening around you at the same time.

The key is to intentionally be aware of your surroundings. Confession: I’m not always good at this. We like to focus on ourselves and live life like it’s all about us. It’s hard to be aware of others around us at all times. We would rather be focused on ourselves and our own desires and needs.

We are so ridiculously selfish too much of the time that 

we miss out on opportunities to know the hearts of others.

When we put ourselves lower on the totem pole we begin to see others in ways that we aren’t able to otherwise.

Selfishness is ugly. It’s unattractive.

Today I saw selfishness in action and I saw selflessness in action. I was in the middle. Being in the middle felt a little awkward. My heart was heavy for both sides of the spectrum.

The selfish view actually made me a bit upset. I was irritated with them. How dare they make life all about them and not care about what was happening around them?

The selfless view made my respect level go up for the man with the wife who has cancer for the third time. He lives a life of sacrifice for her. It’s not a pretty one but this week he is giving her what she wanted. They get to breathe in each life giving breath together.  

Romans 12:10

Be devoted to one another in love. 

Honor one another above yourselves.

That is living a life unselfishly. We need to be willing to breathe in life together.

Being selfless doesn’t have to look like the man and his wife at the pool. It doesn’t have to be as sacrificial as he lives his life in this season of cancer although many times it does.

Acknowledge someone.

     Give up some of your time and energy for someone else.

          Serve others.