Boundaries

I enjoy gardening.

I enjoy planting and watching the growth process of the seeds that I’ve planted.

I enjoy taking care of it all.

Weeding? It’s therapeutic.  

My garden is where I spend time with the God of the universe. We have conversations out there like no other place. I’ve learned some life lessons from Him while planting seeds and plants, weeding and maintaining the garden.  Last night was another one of those times.

I was getting the tomato cages out to put them in the garden when God started showing me and talking to me about necessary boundaries in our lives. 

So many times we tend to see our lives as Christians as a life with rules, rules and more rules. There are people who see this life as limited. It’s a life of too many “do this” and “don’t do that”. Too many do’s and don’ts. As a result there are too many people who decide not to become a Christian because of all the “rules”. We’ve created a world that isn’t welcoming to those that don’t know Jesus and therefore don’t care to go in that direction. Why should that want to live a life that limits them from enjoying themselves or doing whatever they want?

Boundaries. It’s what’s good for us.

Don’t get drunk.

Don’t do drugs.

Don’t sleep with your girlfriend.

Don’t gossip, lie or cheat.

Don’t break the law.

Don’t eat this or that.

These are some of the big ones.

Rules, statutes, guidelines … boundaries.

How are boundaries good for us? Let me start with a visual for you…

Just like a tomato plant needs a cage around it, we need boundaries in our lives.

A tomato plant is the kind of plant that can grow out of control if left to do so. It is the kind of plant that needs to be caged (or as some people prefer, staked and tied) in order to be a productive plant. A tomato plant left uncaged will spread on the ground, be ugly, not have many tomatoes, and not have the healthiest produce. It would not be a plant that I would want to pick my fruit from. I would immediately pass that one by and go to one that was tall and healthy inside a cage. Imagine what the plant in the picture would look like uncaged. It would be one big mound, a mess.

On the other side of the coin, if a tomato plant is caged (or staked) then it is much more likely to be tall, healthy, attractive and full of desirable fruit. When a plant is controlled like this, the owner is able to prune it as well. The combination of caging and pruning will help the plant produce more bigger and healthier fruit.

Here’s the application… the cage is the boundaries in our lives. The boundaries can be some things that we don’t like to have there to “keep us under control”. Most of us don’t like to have rules or boundaries around us. It’s not always fun or easy that way.

Boundaries are good for us. They keep us under control. They make us more attractive. They keep us healthy … emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.

Healthy boundaries are like a breath of fresh air.

Exercise.

Eat fresh meat, fruits and veggies.

Drink more water.

Only put things in your body that will benefit you physically… and emotionally.

Hang out with people who are wise and respectable.

Have honest conversations… be an honest person.

Laugh ... and cry.

Love deeply.

Spend time with God who loves you.

Worship Him.

Listen to what God has to say to you.

Share your heart with Him.

Go to church regularly.

Pruning is painful sometimes, but good … healthy change is good for you.

Stop hanging out with people that are not respectable or build you up.

Don’t eat unhealthy food or drink unhealthy drinks.

Ignoring God needs to stop happening in order to grow healthy in every way.

Stop drinking alcohol.

Stuffing painful feelings only hurts you more… let it out with God’s help.

Stop smoking.

Stop lying and cheating… start being honest.

Talking bad about others will, in the big picture, make you look bad.

Learn to love more and not hate.

Exercise more… or start exercising.

Have the difficult conversations instead of avoiding them.

Have the courage to make healthy changes in your life.

By having God-ordained, healthy boundaries in our lives we can be attractive, more productive human beings. Staying within the boundaries can be uncomfortable at first but I’m telling you, it’s worth it. To be able to stand tall and be strong is a great feeling. Someone said to me a couple weeks ago, “Thank you for not sitting on the sidelines… You’re solid.” It caught me off guard but I clearly knew that it was a God-moment right there. It took me some time to process it but I now know that that person saw that in me because of the boundaries that I’ve stayed in for years. Has it always been fun or felt good? NO! It’s taken a lot of diligence and perseverance to get here. I don’t know that I’ve actually arrived but I’m certainly not where I used to be.

Setting boundaries and staying within those boundaries will only benefit you and those around you. You will be able to be healthy in so many ways. Others will respect you and honor you. Those around you will be blessed by your choices; many times without you even knowing it.

By setting godly, healthy boundaries and staying within them, you will be blessed by God. He wants to do this in ways that will blow your mind. Being blessed by Him is the best part of it all! You don’t want to miss out on what He has for you!

Be blessed.