The Biggest Adventure

My last post was about some adventures that Clint and I have been on together (and some on my own). This time I’d like to talk about our most challenging adventure together.

Marriage and family.

When Clint and I met we both brought children into the relationship. He brought 2 and I brought 3. When we were dating life was good. When we got married and got back from the honeymoon, life got real. Real hard.

The adventure of being a stepfamily and being married a second time is not easy. To say that it’s a challenge is an understatement at times. Stepfamilies struggle to stay alive. As we’ve lived it and talked to other stepfamilies, gone to conferences, counseled other stepparents and read books, life as a stepfamily is, plain and simple, HARD. 

Clint and I have done everything we know how to stay together and fight for our marriage and family. It’s been a long, hard road but we can say that we’ve done a good job pushing through it all. 

We are both very stubborn people. Clint is tough as nails and I can be tough when I need to be. We both have strong personalities and sometimes they clash but most of the time it’s to our advantage. I am grateful for how God created each of us. It is because of how he created us that we are together today. 

Recently our small group started reading and discussing the book “All In” by Mark Batterson. Great book! In this book he talks about being All In in different areas of our lives. The foundation is being All In in our relationship with God. In the most recent section we discussed charging things in our lives. Charging means to go after it instead of letting it or waiting for it to come to you, making it happen or getting back up when you’ve been knocked down. 

Reading this chapter brought the last 8 ½ years full circle for me. For 8 years Clint and I charged our marriage with all we had … we still do. 

We said things that were hard but in the big picture were helpful and in some cases healing.

We did things that were hard even when it hurt.

We prayed when we didn’t want to or when it seemed hopeless.

We pushed through issues that seemed impossible.

We got back up when nothing within us wanted to or we were exhausted from trying so hard.

We cried many tears of pain.

We cried many tears that were healing.

We committed to communicate with each other.

We learned how to communicate with each other.

We figured out what each other’s love languages are and learned how to speak them.

We prayed each other through issues.

We've held each other up.

We promised to make it through it to the end of life.

We learned from our past situations and mistakes.

We learned from professionals.

We got away from it all, together.

That’s how the adventures started. "We got away from it all." We needed to spend time together, just the two of us. It started by going to a stepfamily conference a few months after being married and desperately needing help to make it through. That weekend we decided to make us a priority. We needed to do whatever it took to help and heal ourselves and our relationship. For me it meant doing things with Clint that he loves to do. For him it meant learning to listen to and hear my heart. 

So I started doing what he enjoys doing. I started to hike through the woods. I wanted to spend time outdoors in places I had never been before. I decided to carry a 40+ pound backpack so we could spend time together. I determined to go canoeing, camping, start a fire, set up a tent and tear it down properly, bathe in the ice cold river and not care if I was sweaty and dirty. God put in me the desire to travel around the world to be with him and to see and meet the people and culture that he loved because I wanted to understand my husband. ... then fell in love with the same people and culture. I even decided to go hunting with him. 

I learned to be adventurous like I had never been before. 

Some people thought I was/am crazy in some things that I’ve done but it was what I needed to do for my husband, my best friend… for us.

This was all a part of charging my marriage. I was desperate and knew that I needed to do whatever it took to get to where I am today in my relationship with my husband. 

Today, because I (and Clint) charged my marriage with all that I had, I can say that I am in a place of being able to breathe and know that we are going to be ok and that life is good with the man that God gifted to me 9 years ago. I haven’t always felt this way. It took sacrifice, determination and pain to be where we are today. 

I can honestly say that I really do enjoy most of the things that Clint enjoys doing. I love spending time with him and being adventurous with him. He challenges me and I like that.

Clint and I are not done pushing through issues. Life still throws challenges our way ... and always will. We will never be done. This is a lifelong adventure for us … until death do us part. 

I love, respect and appreciate this man and I will do whatever it takes to charge our marriage!  

I will go after it, make it happen and get back up!

What do you need to charge today?

… Your marriage?

… Your children?

… Your finances?

… Your health?

… Your addiction?

… Jesus?