Saying "I love you"

I saw a post on Facebook this morning that got me to thinking about how we say “I love you”.

Here’s what the post said …

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart." The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text message they received, in response. Here are some of the replies:
1. Who the hell is this? 2. Mother of my children, are you sick or what? 3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's up with you?? 4. What now? Did you crash the car again? 5. I don't understand what you mean? 6. What the Heck did you do now? 7. ?!? 8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need? 9. Am I dreaming? 10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die. 11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day. 12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she??

This made me sad because this is true for many marriages. I’ve heard so many others joke about “I said it on our wedding day, why should I say it again?” Say it again because you need to. You should want to say it again. You should have the desire to give love with words, with actions.

I have to admit that I don’t always say “I love you” when I should.

I don’t always put my “I love you’s” into action.

Why are we so selfish to think that we don’t need to say it or act on it?

Are we that lazy or unthoughtful?

I also understand that many people don’t know how to love, or how to express it. So many weren’t taught how to love. So many don’t know how to express love because it wasn’t shown or said to them. We carry the pain of the lack of feeling loved, the lack of being taught what love is when we were young and so we carry that into our relationships today. 

When I was a young mom I vowed that my children and husband would know that they are loved. Was I great at it? No. Was I perfect at it? No. Am I perfect at it now, years later? No. I’m much better at expressing love and saying “I love you” than I used to be. Sometimes it takes intentional practice or simply intentional doing it. 

I'll be the first to admit that as a stepmom this is an area that I really struggle with. There's been pain in these relationships on both ends. I'm not perfect, or maybe not even great, at showing my stepchildren that I love them. God is doing some healing here so it's getting better. It takes effort and a choice to love within a stepfamily.

Every once in a while I ask my children if they know that I love them. I love it that they always say “yes.”! It does my heart good to hear that.

In my marriage, I have to be intentional in how I love my husband. Random I love you’s are great and bless him. Clint’s love language is physical touch so I have to be mindful of that on a regular basis. This looks like … holding his hand at random times, especially in public (I love doing this!); sitting next to him so our shoulders are touching; touching his face; sitting next to him when we're watching football on a Sunday afternoon; scratching his back (yes, he likes that more than rubbing); planting a kiss on him when he least expects it; simply touching him makes him feel loved.

Clint and I regularly send each other texts with “I love you” or some days we miss being together so we send a text saying “I miss you today”.  I always get a similar response. It’s amazing how two people can feel the same at the exact same time. I love it! I love my husband with ALL my heart!

How do you love the people around you? Do they know that you love them?