Pursue Him in the Waiting

The past couple days have been full of listening to speakers and worship. Some of the speakers were ok. Some were good. Some were great. I’m guessing that each of them spoke words to each person differently. There were sessions that each began with good worship of the Creator. Each worship session was followed by several speakers.  

The first day didn’t seem to be super impactful for me. The second day was a different day. The very first speaker of the day was Phil, who created a popular children’s video series. He shared the rise and fall of his dream. The story of how it started and how it ended was captivating. Being able to see into his heart, the joys and sorrows, hit me.

The last speaker of the day was Bianca. She was lively and funny but oh so deep. What she spoke about was what I needed at the end of the day.

After the conference Clint and I went on a hike. It wasn’t a pretty hike. There was no beautiful view to take in at any point. There was only a trail in the woods. We could hear traffic going by in the background, which isn't my favorite thing while hiking. It must have rained a lot in the past day or two because there were places of mud that took us off the trail at times. The bottoms of our hiking boots got covered with mud. The small streams were helpful in rinsing them off every once in a while. It wasn’t the most pleasant hike. I had to keep reminding myself ‘at least I’m getting some exercise’. 

As we’re hiking along the trail I’m processing some things from Phil and Bianca. Most of the hike was in silence. My mind and heart were very busy and loud but my voice was silent.

Phil talked about dreams. What do we do when God gives you a dream and then it dies? He wants you to see what’s more important in life. Him.

When the dream dies and you don’t know what God wants you to do, wait on him. 

     Pursue Him in the waiting. 

         If we don’t wait on God, we can’t hear him. 

               When we don’t hear him, we are useless to him. 

                    When we pursue Him, that’s when impactful things can happen. That’s when we can   

                     make a difference.

If my dream is anything other than God, 

it will let me down. 

I feel like I’m in a season of waiting. I’ve had a dream die and now I’m waiting for God to move in other ways. I’m needing to grieve the loss of a dream. The hiking trail was long and it was messy at times. It’s where I’m at in life right now. I wasn’t completely enjoying the hike like I normally do. Hiking is one of my favorite things to do but this one was full of God speaking to me and processing with him, which isn't a bad thing, but it was a hard conversation with him.

I was annoyed and frustrated with the muddy areas that kept popping up. Even as I was irritated with the messes I knew that I needed to push through and keep going. Each time I came up on a mess I had to make a decision on how I was either going to step around the mess or simply go through it. Sometimes there was no avoiding it. Turning around was not an option. I had to keep going. I wanted to finish well.

Life gets messy sometimes. How I choose to deal with the mess is what shapes me. Will I acknowledge it and not let it get on me and still change me a little or will I simply go through it and let it change me a lot? Will I choose to become better because of it? Will I choose to come out on top?

Bianca said …

“Don’t put a period when God isn’t done writing the story.” Until the day I die, my story is being written. Even in the messy parts of life.

“The fire that destroys is the same fire that transforms. It is in the fire that we become free.” The fire is hot and painful. The fire can get rid of the mess. What comes out of the fire is beauty.

“The thing that was supposed to kill you will free you and cause you to be in the presence of God.” Oh how sweet this is.

I want to be transformed.

I want to be free.

I want to be in the presence of God … all the time.

I want God to get the glory!

I don’t want it to be about me…. Because it’s about Him!